When I was a young girl I thought that all a guy wanted was a pretty girl by his side. My beauty seemed to win the attention of many and I thought all I had to do was get someone to fall in love with me and then I’d have a forever love. That was my plan starting at age 13.
I believe that is when I gave up on trying to get my fathers forever love. My Grandmother expressed on many occasions how he didn’t really love me and I was beginning to believe her. So out I went on a search at 13 years old to find a love that would forever be mines. And I wasn’t giving up my cookies until I found it, that was the plan.
I’m sure someone may have told me that I was on a useless mission. The boys my age were not concerned 1 bit about finding a lifetime girlfriend and wife, but I was determined. Their top priority was how many girls could they get to have sex with them. Many possibilities came my way but none stayed. I held on to my cookies so tight that no sooner than they came they were leaving. On to the girls who were giving it up. And even though I was promised love if I’d give it up, I held on…for a while.
After several years with no successful love story, I began to think my beauty wasn’t enough. I added my cookies to the deal. I’d soon discover that my cookies and beauty weren’t enough. And at the end of the day I was left feeling more empty when all that didn’t work and they left me (just like my dad).
What saddens my heart is that this is still the behavior of grown women today. You are out there trying to be enough for a man to want you. But I’m here to tell you that you are enough. If you are striving to be the best woman that you can be, mind, spirit, body, and soul, then you are enough! Don’t ever second guess that just because the men that come and go are missing out on that. They have the problem, it’s not always YOU.
I remember always thinking
“If I’m pretty enough”
“If I’m good enough”
“If I love enough”
“If I give enough” then he will stay. But the staying power had to be in his spirit, not mine. He had to be the kind of emotionaly ready person before he met me. A guy says out of his mouth “If that girl is this, that, and the third, she can change me and make me a one woman man.” But that is not true for the most part, yet woman give up everything they have trying to do this. It’s not right!
While we were on vacation this summer my husband and I was taking in some dinner at a jazz restaurant at the resort we were staying in. I wanted to head back up to our room and relax (and prepare for a night-cap lol) so I said “You stay here honey, your having fun, just come up when ever.” He told me a couple of days ago that as soon as I left a few women were hitting on him and trying to get with him. No sooner than I left his side they were trying to snag my man! He declined (more than once) and finished watching the show. The man has to desire faithfulness for hisself, it doesn’t have that much to do with the type of love powers you have or don’t have. Sometimes they think they can get away with it, sometimes they don’t think what they are risking is all that great, and sometimes they blame it on the woman! But here is what I know, I AM ENOUGH! I always was and I always will be, and I’m so glad that I have a man who finally knows it.