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forgiveness in marriageCLICK HERE FOR PART 1

Becoming so comfortable in a relationship with your mate to the point where you are being neglectful is horrible. And being neglected feels worse. But if you never realize these things are taking place then they can’t be fixed and disaster can creep in and destroy everything.

If you are the neglecter, you can change, and if you are being neglected things can change. Each person really needs to look at their situation and be honest though.

THE NEGLECTED:

* Ask yourself and maybe someone you can trust if you are really being neglected or do you have unrealistic expectations.

* Don’t assume your partner is just supposed to know how you are feeling.

* Don’t give hints and clues for them to figure out, be direct and open.

* There are many ways to communicate, choose your best option and at the best time. You can say lets talk, (but not while they are clearly distracted) you can write a letter, send a text, buy a card that explains how you feel, and you can also ask to pray with them and bring it to God while they are listening, (this has to be done with a pure heart and motives).

* If some time has passed and nothing has changed you can and should bring it up again in a non-confrontational type of way, maybe use a different type of communication this time.

* Ask them if they are willing to speak to someone about the issues you are having, either an accountability couple, or a counselor.

* Read books and articles, and also listen to messages that inform you on what to do while you wait for change.

* Focus on what you can change, yourself.

THE NEGLECTER:

* Don’t rely on the love you gave 10 years ago to still carry you today.

* Don’t ignore your mates cries and brush them off even if you feel as though they are exaggerating or being a nag.

* Don’t assume they know that you love them just because you are still with them.

* Don’t become so busy with other priorities so much so that your marriage is last on the list.

* Read books that will help you understand your spouse, relate to your spouse, and keep the fire burning.

* Seek an accountability person that will give you honest feed back and help you to stay on track.

* Talk to your mate, don’t run away from conversations even if they begin to get heated.

* Don’t make the mistake of thinking if you don’t pay the problem any mind that it will just go away.

* Don’t assume an affair could never happen.

With everything that we have on our plates today (sometimes things that we don’t need) our lives can become so busy that we start to take our loved ones for granted. I know you’ve heard the saying “What you did to get them, you need to do to keep them.” I agree. And even though people will argue that you shouldn’t have to keep proving that you love someone and that they should already know, I’d argue why wouldn’t you want to keep showing them if you truly do love them?

THANKS FOR READING!

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