“Dear Mrs. Relationship Stuff, this is a long one. I’m not sure I understand my feelings. When I was 15 in the early 90s I developed a crush on a 90s singer. We all do right? But this crush was different from the others. Whenever I would see him on TV I would just fall into this Abyss. My heart just traveled away. Fast forward a few years, and his group vanished from the scene, like they almost always do. I kept looking for him, any new albums, any life info, anything to let me know he was ok. I’m talking years. Fast forward to 2007. I find one of his group mates even though I’d looked for the group before. He gave me the email address of my guy and I emailed. He responded and I literally felt my dreams come true. He responded and asked me for my number and a pic. Days after that he called! I heard my guy on the voicemail for the first time in my life! We developed a great friendship and I even went out to see him a year later. We were in a hotel room alone and it was great. No sex or anything of that nature. We just talked about the bible and such. Throughout the last 4 years of me really knowing the man behind the voice, we have grown so close. The love I developed for him is not only genuine, it’s real. I think of the “love is patient love is kind” scripture in the bible, and I can easily say I truly love him. I went to see him again this past July and we were in my hotel room many times together, but we both respected each other so much that we didn’t engage in any sexual anything.
He is now a youth minister and he also teaches me. As a matter of fact, the day I got saved he was right there on the phone with me for six hours. Now I’ll fast forward to this past Aug-Dec. I moved to the state he lives in. I thought the Lord led me out there to plant new seeds and live out His will. While I was out there, we barely spoke shockingly. His sister kept all of my belongings for me while I was trying to settle, but so many things happened and I had to move back where I was. The Lord showed me I can’t do anything without Him. While I was on the train with my kids, I revealed to him I wanted every bit of his heart and he told me the Lord has someone good for me, but it’s not him. Bam! Hit to the heart. But shockingly, I was not sad, I did not cry, nor did I lose love for him. We still treat each other the same. Fast forward to a few nights ago we were on the phone. We talked about not having sex and how we both wanted to but knew it was against the Lords will. We talked about a lady he was dealing with and how she hit him with the friends line (every time he tells me about a new lady he always tells me she doesn’t see him for the king he is, but I do) and he told me that the Lord showed him that if we would have had sex when I was out there in July I would have gotten pregnant, and that he saw a boy. I have had visions as well of being around him and then a baby appearing. There is so much more but this email is already long. I’m SO sorry!
I guess my question is how on earth can I continue to love this man after he turned me down? I mean I will do anything to help him advance, and I pray for him. I pray in Jesus name that if He sends him a wife that isn’t me that she loves him more than I do. It’s like he’s a part of my soul, right below Jesus my Lord. I have never felt this way for a man. I just know he is my husband. It reminds me how Mrs. Gore just knew her love was her husband and he shot her down, but she still knew. This man even told me that the Lord gave him me when he was seeking angles to start his new baby business. He has asked me to be his marketing manager, even though I have not one skill in marketing. He has told me he trusts me with his life, he has told me to take to heart that he has so much respect for me. There are so many coincidences with us that it’s not even funny. How we met, how we are, how the Lord kept us separate when I was out there (I was supposed to stay with him with my kids but it never transpired) how he reopened our connection when I got back where I was. It’s just so much and I simply have no rush or desire to stop loving him the way I do. Could this be a case where the Lord is showing me he is my husband, but it’s just not the right time? If I am correct, in the bible Adam did not ask for a wife to be given to him, God said he needed a companion, put him to sleep, and made a woman.
Could it be possible my guy has no clue his future wife is right here in his face and he hasn’t realized it yet because he is not finished preparing? I remember doing a fast and the Lord just started revealing to me men in my life that were not my husband. When it came to my guy (and that vision did not come when I asked for it), I saw myself opening what looked like a security case and when I opened it, it was my guys group cd from the 90s. When I opened the cd there was a big diamond ring with the group’s initials on each side and a big diamond in the middle. All visions I had of him were not saying he was not my husband like the others. It showed me helping him, running to his aid, feeding him, and carrying babies. WHEW! I’m so sorry for the long note, but I just want to know what you think?”
The Wanna Be Wife
That was deep and a lot! I can’t image what you must be going through, that is a long time to be in love with someone and not be able to move forward. But here is what I heard “While I was on the train with my kids, I revealed to him I wanted every bit of his heart…and he told me the Lord has someone good for me, but it’s not him. Bam! Hit to the heart.” You really have to take him for his word right now and start the process of moving on. Even considering what you believe the Lord has shown you. You see, it’s very possible for people to turn down the Lords blessings. Unfortunately they do it all the time. So if he is refusing to marry you, it may not be because God hasn’t told him you are the one. He could be blocking out God’s voice in the matter.
Are you willing to not have love in hopes that maybe one day he will propose to you? I don’t think that would be fair to your heart, and I’d advise you not to do that to yourself. That would not be loving yourself. I think that it’s unfair for him to mislead you. The visits at the hotel were very misleading if he had no intentions on taking the relationship further. Even though you guys didn’t have sex, the things you did share while you were together were probably even more intimate than sex. So as it stands now, I think that you should open up your heart and be willing for God to allow someone else to get to know you. You should make other friends and consider courtship if the opportunity presents itself. Don’t count out others when this man has had many chances to take you off the market, yet, has not. Sometimes when you move on and someone else is in that
Spot, men change-up because they fear they may lose someone they know is right! Just make sure that isn’t your motivation.
I hope this has helped you and I would love for you to update me once you decide what you are going to do and what ends up happening! Thank you very much for sharing your heart. I wish you all of God’s love and everything your heart desires in this life!
Mrs. Relationship Stuff