, ,

I ask that question for many reasons

1) Some women treat men based on the rules of their single friends.

2) Some females have lots of dates and spend lots of time together and convince their selves “they don’t need a man” yet cry out at night because they don’t have one.

3) Some females have the same level of intimacy and the same expectations on girlfriends that they would have with a husband?

4) Some females get dressed to impress other females and not the other way around (example: most men think you have too much fake hair, too long fake nails, way too much make-up, ext.)

Now let me explain further what I am saying and what I am not saying. I am not saying that having close girlfriends isn’t cool and bounding is not beneficial. Although we can’t effectively have a whole bunch of close girlfriends, the ones that we do posses have very important roles in our lives. But what I have seen happen in my personal life and in the lives of other women is that sometimes women will share more with their friends then they will with their mate. Also, I have seen girlfriends get everything they can from their friendships because there is no man around. An example is girlfriends go out on dates, pick each other up, drop each other off, watch each other kids, have sleep overs,cook for each other,sit on the sofa underneath the blanket watching T.V. together,plan vacations together, get mad and argue over issues and unmet desires, on so on.

Now I know what you are thinking…”Nothing is wrong with any of these things!” But here is the thing, without realizing it some women have made do with the same type of relationship they would have with a man with their girlfriends because there isn’t a man around to fill that void. And guess what…I have been on both sides of that before.

There was a situation that my feelings got so hurt by a very close friend of mine because she wasnt there for me at a time I thought she should have been and I let her know how upset and disappointed I was. When she told me that I couldn’t be so upset with her for not filling in the spots my husband was supposed to fill in it made no sence at the time but she was right. I had been running to her getting all that my husband wasn’t giving me intimately instead of talking and communicating to him what I needed from him in our relationship.

Then there was this time that a friend expressed to me her anger towards my husband because he was the cause of our plans being canceled too many times. This single girlfriend of mine and I set up some dates to hang out but my husband may have needed the car, my help with his Cleaning Business, or just missed me and needed to connect. After hearing that I naturally (after talking to her) had to pull back from the relationship a bit because she wasn’t clear on what our relationship was.

friendshipSometimes females will say they understand your man comes first but in their heart of hearts they don’t get it. And sometimes the married women don’t get it either. Like there is no way you should be talking to your girlfriends about your issues with your husband if he doesn’t even know whats going on. Far too many times women are having conversations with their friends that they should be having with their mates.

I look at all the young girls now that are convincing their selves they are gay just because getting the intimacy they desire seems impossible to get from a man, but have we not considered GOD; the creator of love and intimacy. Our girlfriends can’t ever be husbands and our husbands can’t ever be our everything, but God is, can, and will be our all and all, seek Him and ask for wisdom and guidance for balanced healthy relationships.