The other day I witnessed a mother publicly out and embarrass her grown daughter. She was telling her about herself, her issues and like it was. She had all types of remarks that made the woman feel less than. She lashed out and went on and on and seemed to have no regard for the woman’s feelings at all.
I guess it didn’t matter anyway, after all, it was her daughter so she should be able to say whatever she wanted, when and how ever she wanted right?
I disagree but apparently many people don’t. They truly feel as though because they are the parent, they can treat their children any type of way just because they gave birth to or gave sperm to. The way people talk to their children, they would not even think of talking to other adults in the same way.
And that’s really sad! In the black culture we are so bent on our children turning out right that we believe (most of us have been taught this) beating them to death will guarantee they’ll have a healthy out come! You will even hear Adults say “I’m glad my momma beat me, it’s why I’m so successful today”. I’m not talking about you occasional chastisement folks, I’m talking about ABUSE. There is a difference. A lot of parents are beating their children because they are angry with the parents that don’t! Let me explain; the Caucasian lady you see in the super market is allowing her child to fall out, scream, holler, and hit her. She does nothing, you are so mad at her and you make a promise to yourself it will never be you and you won’t ever let your child behave in such a way. The more you see things like that, the stronger the rage becomes. Then, when your child even hints and some of that type behavior you GO OFF! Yes, GO OFF. How do I know, I did it, others have admitted doing it to me, and I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen a mother snap on her 2-year-old child for spilling juice, I have seen a father beat his child silly because he was crying. Here is a bit of information for you, in some cases those children you witnessed act out in public probably did get reprimanded in their home later. A parent that cares about their child’s feelings and at the same time cares about their development is a parent that isn’t so focused on THEIR being embarrassed as they are correcting their child’s behavior.
Am I saying never spank your child, NO, that is not what I am saying. Am I suggesting that we let our children run our households and do whatever they feel like doing? No way! This is what I am saying; please stop treating your children (and other people’s children) as if they are not human beings with feelings. They do matter even though they are small and not so in tune with what life is all about. It’s not silly to respect a child; it shows them how to respect their selves. Don’t embarrass them just because you don’t care how they feel. Sometimes they will remember the attack and miss your message. Or the message won’t be affective at all because they feel so unloved.
Love, honor, and respect are for all people. Yours, mine, them, they, big, tall, small, ALL.