“Part of the beauty of the body of Christ is that He does call different members to operate differently, yet we are one. (In the sequel to this book, We Are Sisters, I expand on this topic. I have seen how one of Satan’s main techniques is to drive and scatter the sheep through lies and deception, and we must be on the offensive! We are sisters, and we must not let the enemy break up the fold.) Sometimes a confrontation comes from insecurity or even a desire to hurt- but often it comes from being able to see our blind spots. Have you ever had the experience of almost pulling into another lane but then, at the last-minute, seeing another car in your blind spot? Friends can help us to see those blind spots, alert us to a car in our path, and help us swerve to safety.”
This excerpt is taken from the book “The Friendships of Women” Overcoming the pain and Releasing The Power By Dee Brestin (It’s a life changing book and it can be purchased on amazon.com)
It has me thinking (again). Sometimes our friends and sisters dump us just like the guys use to do when we were teenagers. They just stop calling, stop making play dates, stop dropping by, stop taking us up on our invitations, and often create (lie) excuses as to why they have vanished from the friendship. It’s pretty sad. I’m a grown woman now and I am able to swallow the fact that a relationship has reached its course. I think it’s just a mature way to do it. I guess the real reasons why most friends leave their relationships are not great reasons at all so they don’t even bother to explain. It does sound strange when someone says “Hey, I really don’t want to be your friend anymore because your joy and happiness makes me angry because I don’t have any!” But if that’s what’s going on inside beneath the surface, I do believe it should be brought up, prayed about, and discussed. When you truly love your friend you want it to work out and so you have to get past some things as do all relationships. Pressing pass our differences and bumps in the road are not only for close family members. God intends for our close friends to be used by Him in our lives too. If we run from the relationships that He wants to use in our lives we are ultimately running from Him. Nothing good about that. It’s like running away from a very handsome and loving man who wants to love you and he’s chasing you with 10 million dollars in his hand along with an engagement ring! (Who would run from that?) A friendship can be that rich if you allow it. (With a different kind a benefit y’all!)
Last night I had a dream. I was sitting at the table with a friend and she was talking to my other friend, which actually happened to be herself, just the unpleasant side of her. She was saying to her (self), “It’s cool, we don’t have to hang out because I don’t like you anyway. I never could stand you.” Then she got up and left the table and I think the house. But what I got from that was at least she said how she felt. Sometimes we just don’t have things in common enough to be close friends with certain individuals, and that’s ok, and it’s even more ok to say so! It’s not mean, it’s honest. I have a very dear friend that had to pull back from our friendship at one point but she did me a service by explaining it in a letter. It hurt to read it, but at least she informed me and broke things down! It actually CHANGED MY LIFE! For the good.
Now like I said, some relationships are supposed to end, so I’m not speaking about those. I am only addressing the cases where they are not. Ask yourself if you’ve left a relationship without a trace and with no explanation at all. The bible tells us to inform those that offend us, and to confess our sins to one another. If your friendships will be bringing glory to God in any way, it needs to have these scriptures in them.
Thank you for reading! And you should really consider getting that book, it is a must read!