Ongoing argumentative parents expect their children to get along as siblings yet, as adults they can’t even sit down and compromise.
Divorced parents expect their children to stay in school and finish well, but they couldn’t even make that their decision when it came to the vowel they made with God to stay together, and finish well.
Divorced parents expect their children to get along with their class mates and teachers, not fight and get suspended, yet they refuse to fight for their marriage and leave their children in an unwanted pit of pain.
People expect so much from children of divorced parents. The parents decide to get together, bring them into the world, love them as a unit, then disrupt everything that is normal to the children and expect them to TAKE IT LIKE AN ADULT. As their heart breaks, you tell them to “try to understand, it’s going to be better this way”. But that’s just not clicking. They never asked to be here, they never begged for a dysfunctional family. Yes, life happens and they will have to LEARN to deal with it, but when you expect a perfectly normal rounded child, you are expecting too much.
Now I am in no way suggesting that because your child is hurting that they get to act out without any consequences. But there needs to be an understanding on your part Divorced Parent(s) to see to it that the child/children are being taking care of. (i.e. counseling, therapy, books, groups support, something!) It’s not going to be a walk on the beach for anyone, but remember the children had no say so in the matter, because if they did, most often they would want you to work it out.
I believe that the only reason a couple should get divorced is because someone had sex outside of the marriage and that other spouse can’t get past it. They may forgive, but it’s too much to go on. I believe that because I believe what the Bible says about marriage and adultery. Now, lets say the husband (or wife, you never know these days) is being abusive to his wife and she needs to separate from him so he won’t continue to harm her. This is RIGHT. Separation doesn’t mean divorce. Hey, I didn’t come up with this stuff, I just believe it. Now the world has its own opinions , but the world didn’t create marriage God did, so I’m sticking with His blueprint. Please people think before you entertain an affair. You can be breaking everyone in your families hearts for a mere 5 minutes!
After having these children that never asked to be here, we should become less self-consumed. And although many people go the other extreme and put the children first, ( i.e. “Hunny I’ve been running here and there with the kids all week, I don’t wanna have sexxxxxxx”), I know that if people would put their marriages 1st, everyone wins! Make your marriage a number one priority. Wives, don’t neglect your husbands, husbands don’t ignore your wives.
Any marriage can work if you keep the commitment and determination and to WORK ON IT!