1. “He lives at home with his mother.” Why does he live at home with his mother? If you are turned off at just the sound of this, and don’t even allow him to explain the situation, you could be pushing away a blessing.
A) He lives at home with his mother because his mother’s actually lives with him, and he takes care of her because she is sick.
B) He just went through a divorce because his ex cheated, and he let her keep the house while he saves for a new one.
2. “He’s too old or too young.” Don’t get me wrong, there is such a thing as too old, and too young, but sometimes we can be extra anal. When you are in your thirties, 5 to 6 years difference is not a big deal. At the same time, if a guy is 23 and the girl is 17, that’s not cool at all. Each situation is different.
A) God could be trying to bring a slightly older man into your life for you to look up to and it may be easier for you to respect him.
B) God could also be bringing a slightly younger man into your life because that man will be a great fit for your personality. But if you never give him a chance, you’ll never know.
3. “He don’t have a job,” or a good enough job. Sometimes women look at certain men and think, “That’s how I want my husband to be.” But you don’t know what it took for him to be there. Many times you are seeing the end result of a lot of hard work. A few years beside him while he’s working for UPS shouldn’t be beneath you.
A) He could be working at a shoe store while putting his self through college.
B) He could have plans and dreams to own his own business. 5 years down the line (after you rejected him) his dream will come true and what you once turned down, is now looking kind of nice.
4. “He’s too newly saved.” In a lot of cases this seems like a logical reason. But each situation needs to be treated differently. A brother who’s on fire for the Lord and growing is all you need to make it. Men who have been saved for years do not come with a guaranteed GREAT HUSBAND stamp. Just don’t cross him off the list if he says he’s been saved for a year.
A) A man can be newly saved but surround himself with older men in the faith and grow to be a strong grounded Christian.
B) A man can be saved for a while and still do things that you thought a long time Christian man would never do.
5. “He just got out of a relationship.” I don’t quite understand the logic behind this, but it’s something I’ve heard from women. What is wrong with a guy making a decision to walk away from something he didn’t see working?
A) Maybe God’s leading him to be connected with someone else, maybe that’s you? Why would you not even consider giving him the time of day because he just broke it off with someone?
B) Maybe the girl cheated or she just dumped him. Someone’s loss can be your gain. But you won’t know that if this is a standard you have.
6. “He doesn’t serve on church ministry.” So maybe you don’t see him serving in the church and you feel as though that is a sign of his lack of commitment to the faith. You never take the time to even find out what he is doing outside of the church and write him off.
A) He could be a coach of a little league team and ministers to youth.
B) He could serve in many ways outside of the church and can be following his calling. Every man isn’t called to minister inside of the church walls, but GOD still gets all the glory.
7. “He has too many kids!” In all fairness, this is something that may be a real red flag. But sometimes ladies say, “Too many,” and are talking about 2 or three kids. What if you can’t bear children and GOD knows this? What if 2 or 3 kids just seem to be a lot? He could be your heart’s desire yet, this fact makes you back up.
A) This man could have lost his wife to cancer or a car accident.
B) Waiting on the man without any kids could be a long wait. Will you turn away someone God is sending you because he had children before you?
8. “He doesn’t have a car.” This is a very worldly and ridiculous standard for a Christian woman to have.
A) He could have had a bad car accident and lost his car. He’s saving up for another one and hasn’t bought it yet.
B) He could be saving his money to buy his first home and sacrificing a car at the moment.
9. “He doesn’t have any education.” College doesn’t guarantee a hard-working man.
A) He may not have gone to college but he owns and runs his family’s business.
B) He could have just gone to high school and got into a banking job and later will become the branch manager.
10. “He’s just not my type.” It’s not that I’m saying that you shouldn’t have preferences; it’s just that in waiting for the “Perfect Man” that fits your every idea, you can be passing by the blessing that God intends to give you. Marriage is a ministry that will challenge you to become more like CHRIST, because you have to die to yourself daily and sacrifice always. Your type and God’s intended type for you may be different. Our purpose in life is to glorify GOD while becoming more like Christ. GOD will join us together with someone who will help us to do just that!
11) He’s not a great dresser like you would have liked, but maybe he’d be willing to let you help him out with that.
12) He’s not fine enough today in your eyes, yet when you see him 5 years later, wow! What did he do to himself?
I use to have a list that consisted of 10 things I wanted my husband to be. There was only one thing on that list that he didn’t have. I actually thought about not allowing us to be because of this one silly thing. It’s realistic to have certain standards, and by all means I hope you do. But just be sure that your “STANDARDS” are not conflicting with GOD’S PLANS.
Do you have any standards that I have not listed? Please comment, I’d love to hear them.